Communicating at Company Social Events

We’re all in a rush.

Not enough time, even for ourselves, much less for others.

Still, your chances to socialize with team members should be seen as an opportunity for face-to-face communication.

You may not want to attend the event. It may rest outside your comfort zone. Politically, however, it’s usually smart to go anyway.

 

Make the most of it. Project yourself!

Consider these dos and don’ts.

1. Don’t use the opportunity to hit up your boss for anything. This is not the time or the place.
2. Don’t get drunk. Don’t be rude to anyone.
3. Do have fun, yet be professional. Your bosses will judge you. A major faux pas is usually remembered to your detriment.
4. A request for an RSVP means “accept” or “decline”. If you accept, turn up. No-shows or last-minute cancellations look bad on you.
5. Don’t attend if you’re going to sit there with a long face that says you don’t want to be there. You will lose more points than by not attending.

Grammar Tips: Learn to Use "Well" Correctly

Boomers tend to be impressed by good grammar. It's not that they know every rule. They don't. No one does.

But you will harm your "image" if you slip up with an obvious mistake.

For example, understanding when to use "well" isn't an obvious mistake per se. But those that know their grammar will see such misuse as a major faux pas (see below.)

You can also sink your career with bad grammar. Here’s a list of some problem areas.

Like

Avoid using like as a filler word (Like, we’re going out tonight, and… like, uh, we’ll meet people later.) It might be popular among some, but it’s considered a sign of bad grammar.

Good/Well

We often hear athletes say in their interview: We did “good.” Sorry, incorrect. Good is an adjective, so you cannot do good, or live good. You need the adverb well. So you can do well, and live well.

The exception: An adjective can follow sense-verbs and be-verbs. You can therefore feel good, look good and even be good.

Anyways, Irregardless

Both words are common errors, although acknowledged as non-standard English. Anyways is non-standard spelling for anyway. The extra negative “ir” in “Irregardless” cancels the “-less” to make the word mean regard.

Use the words Anyway, and Regardless to ensure grammatical correctness.

© CanStockPhoto/maximult

Find Communication Role Models

If English is your first language, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.

The bad news: you’re too fluent! You may be too close to the language to realize how or why you’re using it in a particular way. It’s instinctive.

The good news: you’re fluent! So you are not short of ways to express yourself.

Those of you who have studied English as a second language often have earned a slight advantage. You’ve been forced to look at things differently. Maybe your grammar is better than someone who learnt English as a first language. Not unusual.

Knowledge of grammar and the way words work will help you communicate.

Given that English is the language of business, it’s not a bad idea to know how it works really well.

Look for role models who speak the language well. Listen to them. Do not rely on sportscasters, athletes, coaches, rock stars, etc.!!

Tune into the best: BBC in the U.K.; CBC in Canada; ABC in Australia; public broadcasting in the U.S.

Tune into BBC World as your news network so you can absorb the language by listening to the best.

Read your country’s best newspapers and magazines. You know their names.

It doesn’t require a lot of work on your part.

Bathe yourself in words – and the English language.

© Canstockphoto

Writing Skills Sell

Writing is one of my core skills.

It needs to be one of yours.

And you need to take feedback graciously. I’ve been writing most of my adult life. Yet I welcome feedback. I know writing can always be improved.

When I write something, I like to bounce it off an audience. I ask my team members to review it. I’m not possessive about my first drafts and you don’t have to be either.

Also, although writing is my core skill, I promise you that I do not pretend to know everything about writing. Neither can you.

Think about the challenge. More than 600,000 words exist in the English language; plus 200,000 technical words. Then there’s the grammar. You can’t know it all. In fact, if you’re a professional writer, you will own reference books. Many reference books. Tricky issues abound. Professional writers and editors often debate editing quandaries and disagree on solutions.

E.g., Is the word “Gen X” a singular entity or a plural entity? If a member of the boom generation is a boomer, would a member of Gen-X be a Gen-Xer? Hmmm. Not so easy, is it?

Take writing seriously and grab any opportunity to learn more about the skill and craft of writing.

Take writing training. You will lose nothing by learning to write well. And you could gain a lot! (P.S. And you can start a sentence with “And.” Writers have been doing it for centuries!)

Writing Dynamics™

What is one of your biggest writing challenges?

Is English your second language? What do you find most challenging when writing in your second language?

It’s OK to Make a Mistake

Your company will expect you to make mistakes. That’s life.

It’s also how you learn.

Repeating the same mistake will concern your manager more.

Not “fessing up” to the mistake will be taken as a bigger strike against you than the mistake itself.

I’ve seen staff cover up, lie, and blame others. This enhances a blaming corporate culture. (Not where you want to be!)

© Canstockphoto

Most companies want the issue fixed professionally, quickly (now if possible), and handled better the next time. Blaming someone else accomplishes none of these things.

Collect major points if you say: “Sorry. I screwed up. I made a mistake. It won’t happen again!”

Communicate!

Don’t Depend on Technology to Communicate

I remember talking to the head of communications for a large company who wanted to hire us for training.

At their offices I noted about 20 empty spaces for all the communications officers.

I asked Jim, “Where is everyone”?

He replied, “They’re all working from home. We actually don’t see each other that often. We send each other a lot of emails, we leave each other a lot of voice-mails but we don’t actually know what everyone looks like.”

I knew we weren’t going to get the job. We weren’t going to “connect.” No relationship would be built.

Getting together is often more important than why you’re getting together.

Technology is a great communication aid, but it won’t cover the whole spectrum of communicating.

© Canstockphoto

Companies that spend time and money getting together will be the companies that succeed.

Frankly, we believe companies who rely exclusively on communication technologies to communicate will get into problems they haven’t even dreamt about.

Nothing beats face-to-face communications.

Leaving Phone Messages

When I phone anyone these days, I have a short message ready to leave on voice-mail. I assume I won’t reach the caller.

Be equally prepared and keep your message short. I leave my name, the reason for calling, and my own phone number, which I usually repeat. I speak at a medium pace, without rushing.

I always know when a sales person has called me because they talk too fast, and they mention their phone number only once.

Top Tips When Leaving a Phone Message

1. Rehearse what you will say.

2. Avoid talking too quickly or too slowly.

3. Enunciate your words clearly.

4. Avoid leaving a vague, cryptic message; for example: “It’s Mary. Call me.”

5. Avoid leaving a long, chatty message as though you were chatting with the person; get to the point.

6. Ensure you include critical information: Who you are. Who you represent. Why you’re calling. Any action expected, and from whom.

7. Leave your phone number. Always. Even if they are your best friend. Don’t assume they have immediate access to your phone number. Or will remember it without a note.

8. Repeat your phone number. 

Voice-Mail Technique: Recording Your Own Message

Why devote a section to voice-mail technique? I’ll tell you why: it’s communication. And many people take voice-mail for granted.

© Canstockphoto

When you phone someone, what do you hear? Often, it’s a long-winded message about why someone can’t come to the phone. (e.g., I’m not here right now, or I’m on the line or away from my desk.)

I favour a simple approach: “This is the voice-mail of Roger Davies. Please leave your message now.”

If I’m away for a longer period, I will say: “This is the voice-mail of Roger Davies. I will be returning to the office on February 7^th. If you wish to leave a message, please do so. I will get back to you as soon as I can.”

Notice that I said, “I’ll be returning.” I didn’t go into detail about what I was doing while away.

Put some thought into your own message.

Being polite is nice. Smiling when you record your message is also nice. If you don’t smile, you can come across as negative or cranky. Smiling communicates.

No matter what, get to the point!

Why the Word ”Interactivity” is Misleading

By Roger HB Davies

The generations are changing the language. Obvious. But as generations overlap in the workforce, some words merit closer attention.

For example, the words ” interactivity” and “connected.”

Gen-Yers see the words (and skill sets) as related to technical “connections,” e.g., social media and staying in touch via technology.

Boomers use the words very differently. They “connect” with people through face-to-face exchanges. They “interact” by talking and listening – on the phone, in client meetings, with each other.

© Canstockphoto

Two sets of skills, both important, both quite different and covered by two potentially misleading words.

Gen-Yers see “interactivity” as both a technical word and an “interpersonal” word. Boomers don’t understand this. Their spin on “interactivity” speaks to their bias towards and face-to-face communication.

Who’s right?

Gen-Y Style Communication Profile

What you see is what you get.

Sometimes this directness can be your downfall because people don’t always understand it. I personally value it. I’m married to someone who is incredibly direct, so it doesn’t phase me at all. But I wasn’t brought up with that directness.

I’ve learned to admire it because it brings to the table one really important thing that managers value: I can ask you for your opinion and know you’ll give it to me. I may not like the opinion, but I will usually hear the truth.

You can deal with that. At least the truth is out in the open.

Some people tell you what they think you want to hear. If you’re the CEO, that’s the worst thing to want.

I remember the first person who mentored me in life. One day he gave me a piece of advice that really upset me. Doesn’t really matter what it was , but it went “pow” in me. He said to me later, “You will find many people around who will pat you on the back and say what a great guy you are, but you will find very few people who will actually tell you the truth.”

What your generation brings to the table is a directness in communication, which all organizations need to understand and value.

If you find people are misinterpreting your directness, explain yourself.

Say to your boss, “Please understand that I’m direct and upfront in my communication. I’m not being rude, I’m just telling you what’s on my mind.”

© Canstockphoto/ Feverpitched

Gen-X Communication Style Profile

This is the in-the-middle group, probably brought up by boomer parents.

Gen-Xers have some insights that can help Gen-Yers – and Boomers.

Be aware that their perspective is half-way to being a boomer, half way to Gen-Yer. A foot in both camps.

Gen-Xers can provide that half-way advice to help you Gen-Yers on your career path.

Their challenge is that they can all too easily see both perspectives. They will give you a choice.

Only you can make that choice. So take control of your career.

No one else will.

Baby Boomer Communication Style Profile

In summary, boomers tend to be more analytical. They respond well to the written word. Many, though not all, like one-on-one communication.

They also respond well to the following:

• Concise written summaries
• Concise verbal presentations
• Results
• Lists/bullet points
• Punctuality

Email Expertise: More Than Meets the Eye

In our opinion, viruses, worms, etc., are a piece of cake compared to e-mail.

Email is the most dangerous software on your computer, by far.

It’s too easy to reply, too easy to be blunt, and crucially you miss that face-to-face contact.

You are using a tricky communication medium. Your role involves building relationships, not breaking them. Email can do more damage to a relationship than you realize – if you’re careless.

The more you rely on this technology, the more care you must take.

Our research shows that if you know someone well, you can get away with a certain amount of sloppiness in email. Your audience will make allowances. Bluntness, poor spelling, even bad grammar tend to be overlooked. Up to a point!

But if you don’t know that person well, we don’t make those allowances so readily.

Also, be aware of this reality: the tonal quality of email is difficult (if not impossible) to manage perfectly, and your tone is often misunderstood by the receiver.

To improve writing tone, consciously smile when you write – that friendly tone will come through in your writing.

A smile goes a long way when you write. Always. 

Generational Communications

A dynamic exists in the workforce that hasn’t happened before. It’s the dynamic between the generations.

You have probably figured out which generation you’re in. If you go to the internet, you’ll see that different experts use slightly different dates of birth to define each generation. You’ll just have to decide which one you most relate to.  

Be aware that these three groups have a lot of influence in any organization.

 

Their perspectives appear to be very different.

Our communications research has profiled the differences.

Briefly, boomers tend to be mainly analytical.

Gen-X more interactive.

Gen-Y more direct.

More on this in the coming weeks.

Issues around Confidentiality of Your Salary: Don’t Communicate!

It’s one of the unwritten protocols in business: Never, ever discuss your salary with anyone besides your manager! (Or immediate family.)

I have seen so much damage done by people comparing notes on pay levels. You gain nothing by knowing this information, and even less by discussing it freely.

You might think that knowledge of what others are paid will help you in your salary aspirations. It won’t. Rest assured, most organizations try to pay (and treat) staff fairly.

Recognize two additional unwritten rules about compensation.

1. Every position has a certain value to an organization. This value is based in part on what it would cost to replace you.

2. No mileage exists for anyone in underpaying you. The longer you stay with a company, the better you will end up being paid.

It’s not unreasonable to ask for more money. Just discuss it with your manager ALONE.

Otherwise, be discreet about your compensation and do not discuss with anyone other than your manager.

Focus more on increasing your value to your company. This usually translates into better pay!

The Importance of Communication with Your Immediate Supervisor

Usually, your immediate manager provides the gateway to your success.

If you are given a choice, choose that person wisely because they can really help you.

If you’re not given a choice, how should you cultivate a good relationship?  Key question: Ask them how they like to receive their communications, and through what technology. This at least shows you’re interested in communicating, and you’ll receive some insight on how they process communications.

In business, the relationship with your manager is called your “primary relationship”.

During the interview for a job or promotion, ensure you can communicate well with this person. If you can’t “connect” on a personal, face-to-face level, maybe this is not the job for you.

You also need to respect them, trust them, and understand them. Learn to “scratch their back” and they, in turn, will scratch yours.

Your manager will expect you to be a quick study, and if you have any questions: Don’t be afraid to ask, especially in the early days of your new job. What can you reasonably ask of your manager? Simply put: Ask anything that will help you do your job more effectively.

If you feel that trust and respect are issues, make the most of the situation. You can always learn from anyone. Even if you learn how NOT to do something in a certain way. It’s all a learning experience.

Handling those “Personal” Appointments

Your company will likely have a policy on how to handle personal appointments (haircuts, dentist visits, etc.). Regardless of your company policy, it’s not a bad idea to try and handle those appointments on your own time, if you can.

Sometimes that is not possible with medical matters, and employers tend to be reasonable about it. Still, there’s a balance.

You don’t want to give the impression you’re entitled to “time off” for whatever reason. You’re not!

Communicate with your immediate boss. If you take time off, make up the time! And schedule “cosmetic” appointments outside business hours, please, always.

Do you believe employees are given enough time to handle personal appointments? 

Should some exceptions, other than medical or dental, be made?

Technology Etiquette Depends on Corporate Culture (and Good Manners)

If you join a “conservative” company, you are going to have to bend over backwards to be respectful in the use of technology. In other words, you can’t text non-stop in meetings and continually go into your Gmail or Twitter account on company time.

Some companies are digitally focused and accepting of a technological free-for-all; many are not.

If you’re seeking success in a business, just look around and see how everyone else handles themselves.

We delivered a workshop recently to a large bank. You will appreciate our instructor, Amy, was not expecting the participants to be using their BlackBerries during the session. At the break, Amy went to them and said, “Do me a favour. Maybe you could use your BlackBerry on the breaks or at lunch.”

One participant turned around and said, “When you earn as much money as I do, you can tell me what to do.”

We thought the response to be totally out of line.

I’m guessing that person is no longer employed – financial meltdown or no financial meltdown.

Courtesies, respect and politeness go a long way!

Respect your corporate culture.

Should all corporate cultures adapt to allow people to use technology for personal use?
What are some of the pros and cons of allowing more digital freedom in the workplace?

The First Days at a New Job: Keep a Low Profile

In the first few days and weeks in a new role, keep your opinions to yourself! Focus on learning your job. Be the quiet observer. Avoid commenting on anything at this time, unless asked.

Remember: First impressions do count. I fired one person because he was disrespectful to his wife – on the phone in front of the whole office.

Reality check: It will probably take you one year to truly learn your job.

Once you know your job, you should receive ample chances to voice an opinion. Especially if you can streamline your processes.

Hopefully, you’re in a company where opinions are sought after!

Let us know: 

Why do first impressions count to you?

What is something you learned about someone based on your first impression of them? Were you right? Wrong?

Self Promotion

Use Technology Wisely to Enhance Your Job Opportunities/Promotions

Technology can both help you and harm you.

For example, most boomers have figured out how to access Facebook. A picture of your throwing up in a toilet is probably not the best PR to those who employ you.

Be aware of the obvious – such information may be available to anyone. Or a prospective employee may simply ask to see it.

Consider designing your Facebook portfolio so that if an employer does see it, you will look good.

It’s a sales opportunity. Make your portfolio professional. Show off your technical skills. Choose your photos – and friends – wisely.

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot! 

Taking Charge of Your Professional Development

What are Your Core Skills?

Force yourself to answer this question: What am I really good at?

I say this because many people still don’t know what they’re good at – even after 20 years. And they insist on doing what they’re not good at.

They haven’t accepted that you can’t possibly be good at everything.

In my own case, I realized this early in my career. I put it down to luck. I clearly recognized those things I wasn’t good at. Over time, I have deliberately surrounded myself with a team who can do the stuff I’m not good at. I try to focus on my strengths.

By default or by mistake, this turned into one of my best decisions.

Realize, however, that early in your career, you might have to compromise with the first job(s). As time goes on, you really have to get into somewhere where you feel comfortable.

Be honest with yourself about assessing your true skills.

Be prepared if necessary to take a menial job to get started. I’m now CEO. To get started in the workforce, I did the following: parked cars, swept floors, burnt garbage, sold door to door, drove tractors, worked behind a bar.

I didn’t see any of the jobs as menial. I saw them all as experience. A stepping-stone to my future.

What have been some of your “stepping-stones” to get to where you are in your career?

What are some goals you hope to achieve to advance your career?

The Three Styles of Communication

About 20 years ago we started to research how people really communicate.

We knew about the analytical way of communication; we also knew there was a non-analytical way of communicating. But we wanted more details. We designed a questionnaire, an assessment to try to pinpoint preferences.

This questionnaire, plus input from participants on our training courses, and focus groups – revealed that all of us possess the ability to communicate in three very different ways:

1. Analytically – the obvious style because it helps in business to analyze and be logical

2. Visually – the style that involves speed, spontaneity and sometimes imagery

3. Interactively – the ability to interact, ask questions and relate to people

Our research also shows that, while you might have a preference, you need all three styles to communicate well with others.  

Your preferred style might be analytical, for example. Perhaps you would rather read things  and communicate one-on-one rather than in large groups.

So it’s a preference. Not right or wrong. The skill lies in being able to adapt. If you prefer to analyze your communication and you’re dealing with an audience who prefers to be spontaneous and verbal – you realize someone has to shift styles. Otherwise you may not “connect”.

Dress Code Communicates

How should you dress at work?

Look around your organization. What does everyone else do? Perhaps ask your manager for guidance. Check out the company policy on the matter. And respect it. Ignoring the policy will not help your cause.

In our case, 30 years ago, we tended to dress like our clients: fairly conservatively, leaning towards smart casual.

Over the years, we loosened our policy. Now we have a fairly flexible guideline: if clients are coming into our offices, we expect our team to “up the ante.” If no clients are expected and it’s snowy outside, we don’t mind your wearing jeans. Still, don’t turn up as if you’re coming to work in a car wash!!

Companies expect professional standards and evidence that staff care about their appearance.

You don’t have to spend oodles of money. You don’t have to represent the latest in fashion. You just need to look presentable.

If you care about your appearance, it communicates a powerful message: You care about your job.

Were you right? Wrong? What Company Policies Really Communicate

Companies issue policy manuals to save everyone time.

They are critical communications.

They spell out the “nitty gritty” of the little questions (and some big questions) that come up. Read the policies carefully.

I’ve seen people ask questions when the answer was already in the company policy manual. Clearly they had not read the document.

Tip: Read up on your company’s policies once a year as a refresher. Policies tend to change to accommodate new issues. They are living communication tools critical to all organizations.

Avoid tying up your manager’s time with questions that will likely be answered in your company’s policy documents, and you will clear another obstacle to success.

Communication Protocols at Work

What No One Tells You about Business Protocols

Consider a few things people did not tell you about at college.

1. Good communication takes work. Some people are naturally gifted at it; others aren’t. We can all learn to communicate better.

2. Technology continually changes the rules. Don’t assume that what worked last year will work now.

3. Every organization has its own set of communication protocols. They run organizations, or they disrupt them.

How does communication work at your workplace? You need to know what those protocols are.

Every organization is different. I can give you some guidelines (a map) that will help you succeed.

What Clarity, Brevity, Impact® Actually Means (Why it’s Our Slogan)

How to Achieve Clarity

Write and speak in short sentences.

Enough said.

A short sentence provides evidence of clear thinking.

How to Achieve Brevity

Make a point of getting to the point. No rambling preambles. No one has time for unclear thinking unclear argument. Make a habit of getting to the point.

How to Achieve Impact

Structure your communication so you offer a beginning, a middle, and an ending.

The beginning grabs the audience’s attention.

The ending hooks the audience’s memory.

The middle supports your argument. Take care, though. If the middle is too long, you will bury your message.

That’s why we call it the cemetery of communications.

It also explains why you need powerful openings and memorable closings to all forms of communication.